Monday, February 28, 2005

Isolation and Childrearing the prologue

We have been having a discussion about finding
your tribe, and how it wasn't meant to be this ways moms aren't supposed
to be penned up alone with the kids all day, doing all the housework and
having no adult conversation all day. I agree.
In more civilized times (and I mean that I think the way we live is
barbaric) Women saw other women all day. Their kids played with other
kids and all the mothers mother all the kids (this STILL happens today
in more traditional societies and is probably what would be ideal in a
church community) So no one was over worked and over stressed.
Likewise we used to live with or very near our extended families. NO
more my closest relative is my SIL and she is a six hours drive away.
So when you needed help why grandma is in her room upstairs she can come
help cook and Grandpa is outside with the boys already all the cousins
are just next door.
Or take it back just 20 years. When I was a kid my mom could leave us
at home alone with out fear of CPS. i started watching 3 of my 5
younger siblings when I was 8. Also she didn't have to worry about us
ALL day long she could say "go out side and don't come back until
dinner." and we would. She could call up a neighbor and say "I am going
to such and such and place my kids are outside if one of them starts to
bleed can they come to you?" and the neighbor would agree knowing in
all likely hood she would not see anyone's children but her own and not
until dinner.
Do you see what I am saying? We need to be more of a community. Helping
someone out with their kids should be a matter of course not a big deal
and a reason for condemning someone as an unfit mother. Nursing someone
else's baby shouldn't be a heroic act, it should be a "your baby was
hungry and you were not here so i fed her and it was fine and we don't
mention it kinda thing"

Also parents used to work to support the family TOGETHER and the
children were included. Everyone works to keep the farm going, everyone
works in the bakery, everyone works here at the general store. None of
this dad goes away for 10 hours a day to support the family while mom
smothers under loneliness children and housework.

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