Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Mother torture anyone?

I really hate swimming lessons. I love swimming, the kinder love swimming too but I think swimming lessons were designed as torture for moms. Swimming lessons in the summer I can only assume, would be sheer insanity. Imagine every single child crammed into the swimming pool with their parents on the bleachers.
One of the blessings of homeschool is the ability to enroll my kids in lessons in April well before the little ones are let out of kiddy prison and unleashed upon the unsuspecting swim-team graduates.
Still I find lessons relentless torture. They are always scheduled a wee bit earlier than we are used to being out of the house, we get there barely on time. I manoeuvre my slow children through the crowded dressing room to the pool and I get situated and Nutmeg starts playing. I try to maintain a balance friendly mom to chat with other moms, but each time I chat I can't pay attention to my kids. As soon as look up they are just finishing their turn. Before I know it the 25 min lessons are finished. Then I take a waddling, shivering 4 year old into the women's dressing room with all of the other mothers, their boys AND girls and their strollers, in addition to the half a dozen old ladies who have dropped by for a swim.
Then Mom has to go into the shower to turn it on for said 4 year old, getting wet in the process while the 2 year old is doing who knows what elsewhere. Then it is time to get a slow, wet 4 year old dressed. You know how underwear, pants and socks do not want to go on damp skin. Yeah, that is how I send my mornings now. Then we rush home just in time for the kids to simultaneously beg for food the moment I drag all of the wet clothes out of the van and into the house. I ask, if my patience is all used up by 11am, what are we left with? Answer: me snapping all day long and lying about the house in a martyr's pose begging the kids to please stop whining.

Mercifully lessons last only 4 weeks. I don't think I am going to make it.

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