Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Somebody, Think of the Parents!

This is the book we innocently checked out from the library, "Clifford's Riddles." Clifford books aren't exactly well written but I was not expecting this abomination. And I was forced to read it to a tired bed-time 3 year old TWICE! Then I read it to Moose because I want him to share in all parenting moments, the good and the tortuous.

Here are some examples of the lack of humor or basic competency in this book.
"If a blood hound marries a bat what will their child be? A vampire dog."
"What would be a good job for Clifford? He could be a seeing eye dog for King Kong."
"What is twelve feet tall, stops at stop lights, and has training wheels? Clifford's bicycle."
"It's sweet. It's furry. It barks. And it's frozen on a stick. What is it? A pup-sicle."

What??? How are theses even amusing? And who eats a furry popsicle that barks?
There is no excuse for this book.

Here's how I see it going down.
Publisher Man: "We can't publish this book Boss, it isn't even a book really just a collection of pictures and words. People won't buy it."
Publisher Boss Man :" People won't buy it but Libraries will, it has Clifford on it and Libraries love Clifford."
Library:"Oh look a new Clifford book. Sold!"
Kids: "Clifford! Clifford!"
Parents: "OK, OK. Stop yelling this is the library."...that night..." I can't believe the library wasted precious funds on this collection of words and pictures."

I am begging you Washington County Library Cooperative Services PLEASE have mercy on the parents of Washington County. Sell this book at the next used book sale. Use the 1/8th of an inch of shelf space for a good book like "Where the Wild Things Are."

Zero out of 7 thimbles.

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