Someone Should Take Away My Pie Pans

It is no secret that I am pie crust challenged.  I make tasty fillings but the presentation is bad, bad, bad. No matter what I do my pies are UG-LY!

Lately I have tried buying pre-made crusts already in the pan. No improvement.
Today I even  bought the Marie Callender's crusts for my marion berry pie.

 Fail.  Please, someone put me out of my misery.  Why do I have to like pie so much?

Splitsville Ward

They are splitting up our ward. 

This only can end in tears. I have been in our ward for 9 wonderful years and the thought of losing anyone from or being put into a new ward is just too sad. I look at the map of the ward and I love every single family.

The worst part is that there isn't a readily apparent split, and 3 wards will be affected as they form a new ward, and we have to WAIT AN ENTIRE WEEK to find out the changes.  A week?  A week of thinking about all the wonderful people our ward family and wondering if they will still be in my ward next week and how much I will miss seeing them several times a week.

Also, La Keira is on the opposite side of the ward from Starlings no matter how you carve it up.  This doesn't look hopeful.

I know it will all be for the best and any new ward will be fantastic but it just isn't the same when you don't see someone regularly.

Last time we only lost a handful of families and gained a whole bunch of really awesome people, maybe we will be so lucky again?

The Refrigerator Saga: Pt. 2

On Wednesday, My "new" refrigerator arrived. I say "new" because we purchased it at the Sears Outlet.   The tags on the fridge said "New with Cosmetic Damage"  but as I was preparing to put MY food in the fridge  I found food smears, crumbs and hairs inside.

Maybe "new" means something different to Sears?

I called Sears and I was hoppin' mad, mad because we had noticed a little "something" on the inside of the freezer at the store and the salesman assured us that is was probably just dirt from the "testing facility."  He lied to us.  The labels lied to us.  I do NOT tolerate lying. The manager was very understanding and apologetic.  He offered to refund us some money.  I was mollified.
Then I turned to the missing parts.  In the store we noticed 2 rubber gaskets missing from the drawer shelves.  The salesman assured us that these parts could easily be obtained at the Sears Parts store which was just down the road, BUT, this store was closed at 6 pm on a Saturday and just down the road was the complete other side of town for me.  So I planned to make a trip to the store later in the week.  After the refrigerator was filled I called the Sears Parts Store to make sure they had my parts in stock.  Not only did they not have the parts in stock they couldn't even find the parts list for the fridge that I bought.  Not only that but the lady on the phone Did. Not. Care.  She was having a conversation on with someone else while we were on the phone and she made ME get online and start looking for parts.  After about 30 minutes of this I just hung up on her as she was continuing her other conversation.
Then I called Sears.  The central location Sears not the local outlet store or the parts store and the girl was VERY polite but ultimately unhelpful because, as before, she could not  find the parts list for my fridge.  She will get back to me in about 5 business days.
 I spent all of my Wednesday dealing with a fridge that I already spent a week or two buying.
When the Fridge was delivered the delivery man was unable to connect the water to the fridge because "the customer has a leak in the water pipe."  I agreed to let him off the hook because he claimed he could not remedy this situation even though I was led to believe that no matter the condition of our water pipe the delivery man could (pardon the pun) hook us up.
 He left and I called a plumber.  (I love our plumbers, they are top notch.  The dissatisfaction in this post should in no way be attached to the awesomeness of Pro Drain. Oh, did you know I was in a commercial for them?  Check it out and then call them for all your plumbing needs.)  The plumber came on Friday and he just screwed on the valve.  There wasn't a leak, it was just loose.  YUP.  Thanks Sears!  So the PLUMBER hooked me up and then I eagerly attempted to get water from the dispenser.  Nothing.  I looked up the owner's manual online (yeah, the outlet store didn't have a manual either) and did all the trouble shooting and learned that the fridge is indeed getting the water.  The icemaker is even making ice but the dispenser is not dispensing.  When the lever is pressed there isn't even a sound.
So, I called Sears again!  The friendly gentleman at Sears duly read the owner's manual and ran me through all the steps again and made an appointment for the repair man.  He will be here on Tuesday.
What do you want to be that the owner of the hair and food crumbs I found in the fridge had this same problem?

I am so beyond annoyed at this situation.  I have 50+ guests coming THIS FRIDAY!  I should be living my life, cleaning my house, preparing fro guests, serving my neighbors and family not calling Sears all day every day.
At this point I am thinking I would have been better off finding a fridge on Craigslist.  I thought that buying a fridge from Sears would have provided a little less stress but it turns out to be the opposite. We chose this one at Sears because of it's size but reluctantly  as we gave up the color we wanted and the layout we wanted for the correct size and a water dispenser, the water dispenser that does not work.  So, really, we like nothing about this fridge other than the fact that it fits in the kitchen.

I thought that the HARD part was finding a refrigerator that would fit in our little kitchen but still have enough space.  Turns out, that was just the beginning.

June 3, 2011: The Day the Sun Shone

There is sun today.  No clouds, no rain.  The weather men told us this wouldn't happen to until tomorrow!

 Since the sun was out I thought I would take a look at my garden bed in the light to see what had happened in the week of darkness and rain. Sadly all of my very, very tiny (think 1/4") lettuce sprouts have disappeared.  I have. No. Idea. What. Happened.  So, I will have to plant lettuce for the 6th time this spring.

Boba Fett was pretty disappointed this morning when what he thought was a leaf turned out to be a frog and the frog escaped before he could catch it.  He is in the market for a frog so if you manage to catch one you know where to send it.

Pretty Purple Chives

And finally, after 2 years of waiting and searching for lovely mums, today, I am going to Kings Mum's in Oregon City to pick up my beautiful Chrysanthemums!!!

Oh, and I had 4 inches of my hair cut off this morning.  Thanks Melissa! Grace Kelly Hair, here I come!

The Tax Man Cometh and Revealeth and I Attempteth to Decideth

We had been waiting for tax time to tally up all of the nickels and dimes and pennies I worked so hard for to help make ends meet as we dealt with having a house on the market for 8 months and paying off the debts incurred just to get that same house ready to sell and then take it off the market.

Just let me say now that I am not complaining, Starlings is worth every brass farthing and needle pricked fingertip.  I am so happy that all of the work I did was merely an amendment to all of the providing that Moose does for our family.  I am so grateful that the Lord has been so bountiful in the blessings he has poured out upon us.

So, anyhow....We were adding up all the pennies and the result was extremely depressing.  The sum total of all my hard work, tears, sleepless nights and bloody fingers was...well really not a lot.  I can not bring myself to type it out.

 Let's just review the many hats of Samurai Mom this year.

Home Stager, Organizer and Cleaner, 10 months in duration 24/6  Profit? Many negative dollars.
Job Hunter,3 months Profit?  Child neglect and loss of self worth less several
tanks of gas.
Contract Seamstress, 2 months for $125 and the privilege of being fired.  I was not hurt but offended (I thank my friends for being as indignant about the situation as I was.)
Blogger for about 11 cents a day.

Needlework Instructor for 2 months - actually profitable but very difficult to maintain a steady stream of income, also, a really fun job.

 Demi-Milliner;  9 months, I actually made a very, very small profit.  I probably earned 40 cents a day.  


And finally, Nanny.  This is where it is at kids.  Snuggling and hugging a baby all day long (well part of the day,) knowing she is getting loving care and being able to pay off bills.

And so after that pitiful display of the actual $$ worth of an energetic, hard working, talented, college educated, fairly young, trained seamstress and designer where does that leave me?

Well, obviously I am going to keep on with the babysitting gig but will I hang up my demi-hats and hat making supplies?

I just don't know.  I had a lot of fun demi-millinering but it was also purpose driven and a lot of work with very little payoff.

I really enjoy dreaming up hair confections but maybe I should just dream them up for myself and Nutmeg and our friends.

I sit here wrestling with the decision because tomorrow I have a tutorial coming out on Sew Mama, Sew!  Hopefully this will get lots of really crafty people who can make hair ornaments for themselves to my site and maybe 1 or 2 who won't want to bother and pay me to make one for them.  Probably not, but being on Sew Mama, Sew! is really cool so it is almost like being famous and we all know how I love the spotlight.

So what do you think?  As it stands I have a bit of fall inventory, very few supplies, a website, a Facebook page, some fun pictures, 2 wigs, 2 styrofoam heads, some darling business cards and $5.

Part of me says to scrap it and just focus doing all the fun things at Starlings that I haven't had time to do because I have been working so hard.  But the other part of me says not to give up, keep plugging away and one day I will be the next Coco Chanel (she started as a milliner in case you didn't know.)

Don't forget to check out the tutorial tomorrow.  Here is a sneak peak.

Just So

My family is in town for a family reunion. Half of us are already here and having so much fun together. Weenie and I went to Walmart in Vancouver and we had more fun than a visit to Walmart justifies. This evening we all went out Benihana for dinner. I laughed hard enough that my abs hurt. I would show you a picture of the fun we have had and the fun yet to come but tonight when I grabbed the camera to take a pictre of Mr. Jmo's birthday cake, this is what I saw:

Blank, nada, nothing, black. The LCD screen on my camera is broken. What? How will I take pictures? How will I know if I have a good shot or not? I have worked so hard to become only a mediocre photographer WITH a LCD screen!

Blogging has been sporadic at best this year but my spirits have been rising and I had high hopes of a blogging comeback. I don't know if I can do it without an LCD screen.

I am wishing I hadn't had this conversation with Boba Fett yesterday afternoon.

Samurai Mom: Do you know where the camera is?
Boba Fett: Um, yeah, it is on my desk.
Samurai Mom: What!? Why?
Boba Fett: Sometimes I like to take the camera and look at myself in the screen.

Just so.

All is Well

"Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?
'Tis not so; all is right.
Why should we think to earn a great reward if we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake;
And soon we'll have this tale to tell-
All is well! All is well!"

Life has been really hard lately.

Nothing terrible has happened and we are all healthy and happy it is just that life hasn't been as charmed these last few months it once was.
The other night I was lying in bed thinking, and I realized that a LOT has happened to me in the last 6 months, some of it good, some of it bad and some of it neither good nor bad, but they have all been hard things. All of them take some adjusting. I got out a paper and pen to write them down and there were 38, right off the top of my head, 38 hard things. Regardless, I am sure that I look much older than I did 6 months ago.

Some of the good things were moving into my dream house, having my sister move to town, having my parents come visit, my dad buying me an amazing mailbox, my eldest son turning 10 and having a great response to my hair accessories. I had a wonderful Retro Housekeeping Party and a lovely inaugural Memorial Day barbecue.

Some of the neutral hard things were having my brother-in-law move in with us for a month, trying to set up a new house and be friendly with the new neighbors, I put my house up for sale, showed a house for 3 months while living in it with kids, I moved house. I have to live without my washer and dyer and refrigerator until the old house sells.

Some of the bad hard things were my sister breaking my heart and getting married without any of her family there, my old house still not selling and watching home sales plummet since the day we put it on the market, My tooth troubles reached a peak with a crown, mercury removal sickness, residual pain and extreme sensitivity = pain.

I had find a job. Looking for a job was one of the most humiliating things I have ever had to do. Finding a job is not easy these days (especially after a 10 year hiatus from the work force) and the indignity of on-line applications knows no bounds. It wasn't the fact that I had to look for a job that was humiliating, it was the way I was treated, disrespected, patronized, taken advantage of and ignored.

After a month of job searching all I had to show for it was 3 severely neglected children, 2 interviews at The Spaghetti Factory but no job and finally a job as a contractor for a sewing business, which was not fun, barely paid and from which I was fired this week. I am an outstanding seamstress and I was fired. Fired! I can't even get a job and the one measly bit of work I get I can't even keep. I used to think I would be able to make a living if I needed to and now I feel pretty useless.

Which leads me to mention my sewing rut. Things are not going well in my sewing studio these days. Everything I make has a dreadful flaw and takes twice as long to make as it should. It happens to everyone and normally, I would just it off to bad luck and persevere, but suddenly my sewing needs to pay and my time is money. The sweater I have been working on since Christmas is still an UFO.

And money, when you have 2 mortgages to pay, houses to maintain, a new house to furnish, and 2 yards to maintain, money becomes annoyingly scarce and I find myself really worrying about what will happen if the car breaks down, or if someone gets sick or if ANYTHING unexpected happens.

To top it all off like a moldy banana peel on the top of this pile of kitchen waste is the fact that this has been the coldest, wettest, most gray spring ever. Portlanders come together to complain about the weather, usually we don't talk about the weather, but we all reached our limit in May and this June stuff is driving us mad. We say things like "Can you believe this rain?" In Portland! While I was picking up strawberries at a stand this week I was trapped under the tent for 10 minutes while I waited for the hail to stop. My kids were 5 feet away in the car.

I realize that all in all I am very blessed and my troubles are small compared to others. But it has been a lot to handle in 6 months and I am really feeling the strain. I know that the Lord is preparing me for something, trying to teach me things and I am trying to accept it all gracefully, but it doesn't make it less hard to get through it.

There have been so many blessings in the midst of all of this turmoil and I am grateful for them every day. I have 3 wonderful, beautiful, healthy smart children, a loving husband who is a great provider. I live in the promised land. My husband has a job. I live in my dream house.

As I was watching General Conference the phrase "The mother should not work outside home" kept running through my mind over, and over, and over again. I feel so blessed that I haven't had to work outside of the home, that was a special prompting and I am glad that I have so far been able to follow it.

I have wonderful friends and family who have helped us through all of this. Relationships have been deepened and strengthened. Love, joy and service abounds.

So I try to keep my chin up, focus on the good and keep plodding along. Sometimes I think simply "All is Well."

If it's Cute They are Looking for...

Then I have it in the bag. job interview today, but I don't want a job, I want to stay home with my babies. I want my house to sell!

Gratitude

Things are looking very good for our little family and our new home. There are only two things that now bar the way and one of them needs to happen. I need to find a job by the 12th of April or our house needs to sell. There have been so many obstacles along this path and through faith and prayer the Lord has provided away around, through or over each one. This is the only one that stands.

I will be honest, the prospect of getting a job after a decade of full time mothering is NOT appealing to me. I really would rather SELL THIS HOUSE!

But I will do it because this new home will be worth it. So if you know of a job that would be awesome for seamstress with wicked cool public speaking and customer service skills and can help me pay a mortgage please hook me up!

In Walked Grace Kelly

Remember how I likened buying that house to being engaged to Cary Grant? Well, this weekend Grace Kelly showed up. Not only that but Eva Marie Saint and Ingrid Bergman are threatening to join her. I am channelling the scrappy little French girl and am going to fight to the end. This time Grace Kelly won't win.

Please send your prayers and good wishes, we will need them. Hopefully I will have some good news by the end of April.

P.S. Someone PLEASE buy my house!

DownEast Basics Here I Am!

Samurai Mom in "Flying down to Rio" from DownEast Basics

DownEast Basics has been having a LOT of blogger giveaways lately. From what I can gather DownEast Basics sends a blogger some clothes to try out which she ends up loving because who wouldn't love free DownEast Basics Clothes?

An awesome DownEast Basics Dress with a Lace Camisole underneath

Then the blogger holds a give away on her blog where the readers leave a comment on what they love most at DownEast Basics and other things like becoming a follower of the blog or a fan of DownEast Basics on Facebook (which I am of course.)

Samurai Mom wears a 3/4 sleeve tee in her heavy weather ensemble

Then the winners are chosen and they get something from DownEast Basics. I enter all of these contests and I haven't won yet, and believe me there are things that I want from DownEast Basics.

Samurai Mom pairs the "Swearing Skirt" with her favorite Down East Basics top. I have 2 of these in the same color I love it so much.

I don't know how DownEast Basics is choosing these bloggers. Are the bloggers coming to DownEast Basics or is DownEast Basics approaching the bloggers? Are there criteria, do the bloggers need to have a certain audience or number of readers or followers? I don't know. All I know is that I want a piece of this action.

Samurai Mom Wears a Wonder Tee to make a Modest Sundress while making pickles

I would settle for stuff from DownEast Basics, I would settle for the increase in blog traffic, heck I would even settle for a free shipping coupon at DownEast Basics.

DownEast Basics, pick me.!

Samurai Mom wears a Wonder Tee under a cardigan.

My love for DownEast Basics is undying. I have even seriously considered opening a DownEast Basics store here in the Portland area and still ponder it from time to time.

Samurai Mom uses a Wonder Tee to make her costume appropriate for the Church party

My favorite items of clothing which are not vintage or made by Samurai Mom are from DownEast Basics.

Samurai Mom Wears her second Favorite DownEast Basics Top under a cardigan and hopes DownEastBasics will bring it back because I want more, the bow is to die for

I am a minor celebrity. When I go to events like call centers people introduce me as Samurai Mom and people have sudden looks of recognition and say "Ahh" or "Oh, Yea!"

The Wonder Tee and Samurai Mom are inseparable.

My blog is Legit. I totally got a check from blogger last week, I make 12 cents a day here by blogging.

So DownEast Basics, I don't know how you choose bloggers to hold give aways but I think you should choose me to hold the next one.

P.S. I am dying for a Frosted Flowers Cardigan and one of those necklaces with the tulle flowers.

Proclaming Liberty Pt. 2

Please excuse all the fabulous pictures of myself. It was just so much fun to pose for them and where else to you show off all the pretty pictures if not your blog?

****My super secret mission has been completed. I was asked to write something for a specific news outlet but it was decided that the article would go in another direction. The good news is (thanks to the ineptitude of Microsoft products) you now get to read this HERE on the blog!***I rode my bicycle bedecked with red, white and blue flowers and ribbons up to the staging area for the Hillsboro Independence Day parade. I was late, I have 3 kids, a mother can't be standing around for hours waiting, an hour is all I could spare for waiting. 200 people were milling about chatting in what would be the largest entry in the parade. I scanned for people that I knew but couldn't find them amongst the crowd. I signed in and located my neighbor and her 14 year old son and a friend who had brought his wife and four children. Everyone else was a stranger. As we talked many people noticed my sash that read "Samurai Mom" and congratulated me on my great post and for giving it to Wu. We made the acquaintance of others in the group. A successful marketer and graphic designer offered to help us with a project we are planning. A man who installs siding and roofing talked about how hard it is to get business lately. An immigrant woman who said that she already escaped the Soviet union and didn't want to have to escape again. There was a great sense of camaraderie in our desire to keep our freedoms. Most of us knew only a few in the group but we fell in together shoulder to shoulder as we made our way along the parade route smiling and waving.

Nestled amongst the flowers and ribbons in my wicker bike basket were 130 copies of The Declaration of Independence and The Constitution, I planned to hand them out to people along the way. It was my way of saying "Happy Birthday America, I know why we have fireworks and parades on this day."
At first I just handed my gifts to people on the street but soon I started asking the question "Why do we celebrate the 4th of July?" as I handed them a copy. I asked young kids, older kids, teenagers, adults of all ages. To be fair, they didn't expect a pop quiz when they came to the parade but I was amazed at the shrugs and blank looks. Many people said "Our freedom," "It's our country's birthday", and "It's Independence Day." All true and good answers but only 3 people said "The signing of the Declaration of Independence." Most received the booklets without a word but many expressed genuine gratitude for their very own copy of two of the most important documents ever written.
One man didn't like our group, I saw him across the street wearing a frown and giving us a double "thumb's down" sign. I crossed and offered him a copy of our founding documents and he shook his head and refused. "You don't like our Constitution?" I asked, dumbfounded. His head was still shaking his refusal, thumbs still pointing down. "Why is this man at the 4th of July Parade if he doesn't love the Declaration of Independence?" I asked myself as I pedaled down Main Street. I realized with sadness that this man was so opposed to what he THOUGHT our message was that he didn't even understand what I was asking. His politics made him dig in his heels and refused to see what I was offering. He refused to listen to a fellow American.
That is why I fight for my country, why I teach my children about their country, why I gather at Tea Parties and rallies, for that angry man and for all of those smiling faces who might be reading the Declaration of Independence right now...

The biggest Failure in the History of Garage Sales

This is what my garage sale looked like at 8:30 this morning. This is what my garage sale still looks like a mere 30 min before the appointed closing time. The weather was yucky yesterday and not much better today. Yesterday I made $68, today I made $12. I have had about 12 people stop today. I have given this sale 2 days of my life, my evenings for a week and neglected my children and house in excess. FlyLady is right, garage sales are not worth it.

If only the weather had been better. I have, however, said goodbye to an awful lot of stuff. I NEVER thought I could have such a huge amount of stuff to sell.

Here is a little bit of fun for you though. Mr Moss and The Lovely Mrs Moss and their friends killing time.

My Mom's Boyfriend

When my mom called me up in November and asked me if I could make this sweater for her. I said of course. I was delighted to knit something for somebody!
This is the "Boyfriend Sweater" from Coldwater Creek, the style looked common enough so imagine my surprise when I could not find a similar knitting pattern anywhere.

Just as I was about to give up and buy her the sweater, Coldwater Creek discontinued the sweater. I begged for help on Ravelry and a great gal named Melanie volunteered to meet me at The Knitting Bee and help me draft the pattern. She was great and so was the pattern.
So I knit the body of the sweater and it was 4 inches too long and 4 inches too narrow. I had 3 more sweaters and sundries to knit before Christmas. I was forced to call Mom and tell her she would not be getting the sweater underneath the Christmas tree but that I would bring it and we could try it on and make adjustments and then I would re-knit. So I did and we did and then I did.
It took me a month after Christmas to get up the gumption to knit it again. I admit I was a bit cavalier by the time I reached the sleeve I had knit the body twice and I was tired so I just knit until I thought the sleeves were long enough. I had to do the button band three times. Thank you Stephanie at the Knitting Bee and Melanie for your help there. I am really sick of this color yarn - I still have 4 skeins left.
I sent it away to Montana and this is my young looking mother wearing it. The collar hugs my neck more than it does Mom's neck and I see she rolled up the sleeves.....I shall not comment. The sweater hangs a little wonky but honestly, at this point, I don't care.

Knit on size 7 needles (and 8's) with Cacade 220 Heathers yarn. Twisted Rib on the bottom and sleeve cuffs. 2x1 ribbing on the button band. Pattern by Melanie and me but mostly Melanie. We are thinking about writing up the pattern and making it available for the greater public.

Low Day

I could tell you about the fun things I have been knitting, or about our trip to the "otherside" of Portland this weekend, or post pictures of the sweater I knit for Mom, but today hasn't been so hot and I don't feel like bringing my "A" game.

I was stressed out all morning about the annoying parents of other children, the state of the nation and the state of my garden. Everything the children said elicited a snap from me. eventually I went outside to work in the garden, shovelled some manure and then came inside to a splitting headache and a split library book.

Tomorrow is the beginning of the annual mother torture known as swimming lessons. This time Commander C gets to sit out because the geniuses at the parks and rec can't figure out that homeschooling families have children of different ages, maybe if THEY had been homeschooled they would be smarter. Hopefully I will have a better day in spite of it.

Oh, and I explained abortion to my sons today as we stamped out red envelopes. How exactly does one justify that insanity to a child? I don't know how people do it. I just told them it is wrong and evil and crazy, what else can you do?

Putty and Paint

I took the misshapen pieces of Nutmeg's doll house over to Keira's to see if she could help me finish it up. I had faith that she had inherited some skills from her father just as I inherited decorating skills from my mother - though osmosis.

She did, she whipped that baby together in less than 2 hours while I watched, smothered baby Zachary in kisses and fetched diaper wipes to clean up wood glue.

She came through.

I have to find a way to cut out the remaining windows and decide what to do about the roof. We decided to scrap the stairs, even though stairs are a very important part of a doll house it just added too many complications, and so, our "Betsies" will have to fly up to the 2nd and 3rd floors. Alas.

Remembering

Today has been an especially uplifting Sabbath. To be honest, Sunday wears me out and I generally come home from church exhausted and on the verge of tears - not uplifted. Today was fabulous.

I finally gave my talk on service. I tweaked it a bit so that it wasn't about Christmas, just service. I think the changes made it even better. It went over well. Kristin took my talk literally and brought me a note and plate of cookies this evening.

Sunday School reminded me that Church History is the history of my family and the history of the world. I was reminded that the gospel is woven into the fiber of my being and I would be so very different without it. I was inspired to make the gospel so much a part of my life that it is apparent to everyone who I am. I will study gospel history more diligently.

Relief Society reminded me of the importance of prayer and the simplicity of the gospel. I plan on savoring Elder Bednar's talk over and over again.

To top it off Mommy Bee reminded me of a conversation years ago about spanking. No, I haven't started spanking my children but I don't think that I ask myself if I am parenting as Christ would as often as I used to and not nearly as often as I should. Thanks for the reminder.


"I am satisfied that such punishment in most instances does more damage than good. Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement. They need fathers to whom they can look with respect rather than fear. Above all, they need example.”

- Gordon B. Hinckley

Bonus Brian Appreciation Day

I appreciate that when I call you, sobbing, from the car at an arcade birthday party where I am the only mom there and one of the dads has made me cry because I was trying to smooth out our childrens' relationship, and I feel like a tiny, short, idiot, that your first thought is "How can I fix it?"

It Started with One

***Notice: I spell "grey" with an "e" because I think it looks prettier. Sorry, if it annoys you."
I found the first one at our book discussion of "Middlemarch." I noticed something and I blurted out incredulously "Is that a grey hair?" The conclusions were mixed but we opted for "It is just a shiny blonde hair." Well, after inspections this evening there is more than one of those sparkly blonde hairs and a definite grey hair right in my bangs.
It is official, I have grey hair.
I blame Obama of course, because I found the first hair the week after the election during which I endured enormous stress and anxiety. The stimulus package sealed the deal and the shiny blonde hairs went straight to grey. I don't worry about my children nearly as much as I worry about my country.

The first grey hair brings up many questions. Should I start dying my hair again, what color? For how long? I figure I can dye my hair for the next 20 years at least before anyone becomes suspicious. what will I do when I am old and grey? Will I do the old lady crop? Chances are I will not have silvery white hair, I am going the way of the Salt and Pepper. So this fabulous style is out.
It also raises the growing old gracefully topic. I used to be all for the idea and now at the tender age of 30 I fell like growing old gracefully is a tough row to hoe and I might like to take an easier path.

I found this poem ...

My First Gray Hair
Mary Alice Walton

One day amid brown tresses there gleamed a silvery thread,
Life pages, past and present I wonderingly then read.
I saw a blithsome maiden, a child serenely fair,
A woman heavey laden now lifts her first gray hair.

CHORUS.

O silvery strand, thou soft kiss of time,
The beauties of youth are now past, are now past.
For evening of life are pleasures unknown,
’Tis love, only love, that will last, that will last.

Good to know I am now a "woman heavy laden," that "the beauties of youth are now past...."

I need to find some chocolate and dig out my box of henna.

Notes to Self (and Moose)

Do not take the kids out to eat.

Do not take the kids out to eat at Newport Bay.

Newport Bay is much more expensive than you remember.

Newport Bay has cut down on their portion sizes, 5 slices of seared Ahi Tuna for $22 is not a good value.

Order the Salmon.

Nutmeg will NOT eat her burger - just order fries.

Newport Bay DOES take reservations - waiting 35 minutes is not fun.

Your cell phone has a cool game to play while waiting.

It is amazing how Newport Bay can take an inch of apple and slice it to look like 3 kid's servings of apples.

The $15 off card you get in the mail will pay for the tip or you could look at it as they pay for 2 kid's meals which your kids will not eat. This is NOT a bargain.

The next time Samurai Mom is too depressed to cook dinner she should make a run to Sushi Town and pick up a box of corn dogs on the way home.

Even though $14.99 a lb at the market seems dreadfully expensive it is a bargain compared to eating at Newport Bay. It is OK to buy $3o worth of salmon at the grocery store.

We will be eating off of the food storage this next week to make up for the bill at Newport Bay.

Print out this note and refer to it the next time you are tempted to eat out.